Love grows everywhere and anywhere it is planted and tended. What does that mean? It means we have endless numbers of ways to plant love—to value our belief that connection to each other is worth more than any other single things we do in this lifetime. And it means we have to provide the conditions for those seeds to grow. We choose what we value...and then we have to value seeds we have planted and make sure they get nourished...with time, attention, protection, consideration and care.
If you care about someone (value them) and they don't feel cared for, they need MORE of the conditions that will grow the seeds of love. You may think you have done enough...but that isn't the standard of care that works. Care means the other person feels your care. You may think you are protecting them, but they need to feel safe. When they feel safe and cared for, you have provided the conditions for love to grow.
Love grows in the peaks and valleys—the ups and downs—both. When you get that life is rocky and hard and has surprises that are sometimes good and sometimes challenging...and when you determine that through those valleys you will be reliable in this one thing—connection— then love grows.
Make that commitment to this day: love grows here. Whether it is a great day or a day of obstacles, choose the pathway of connection—see the people you love with eyes that acknowledge and delight in them. Be a protector, be a safe place. And provide conditions that offer comfort and safety in answer to their fears and frustrations.
And love will grow.
I write on how humans develop and grow through challenges we face. I've divided this into three categories--Growing Love is about relationships and how we create conditions for growth despite the inevitable challenges. Cloudburst is about grief, specifically—which is a tricky topic. We need to keep growing but pushing is the opposite of helpful. And in Dancing on Hot Sand I talk about personal inner growth in hard places—spiritual growth, without sounding religious, I hope.