Love grows in the opening spaces of Spring! Yes, of course it does—after a winter of being unseen, at rest, in quiet and waiting...anything and everything that will grow comes alive.
But did you know that some leaves that look dead in winter, that loose all their moisture and lie flat to the ground, are actually dormant but not dead.
Just like a caterpillar that has gone into a cocoon and slowly changes, these leaves adapt and lie under the snow—looking dead. You can strip them off the plant and there will be all new growth. But you can also watch and see them come back to green and be alive under the generous gift of the warming sun.
Humans are not so different. You may have come across someone who seems unable to engage in the trust it takes to be truly a friend. But don't give up—love grows here, too. Here where trust has been broken and hurt has covered a tender shoot, there is hope.
Go back to the beginning of how things were supposed to work and offer food, safety and "glad eyes"—eyes that say "you matter to me." Find things you both laugh at, and engage with shared humour. Find something you both love to drink (coffee) or eat—chocolate? And make those a habit of sharing time and slowly savouring the good flavours. Share favourite movies, a place you love to walk—pointing out how your senses give you delight with the song of the birds, or the shape of the trees. You get it, right? I'm just priming here, not giving you instructions...
If there were absolutely no roots ever planted, this might be a long, hard, not-very-satisfying uphill journey. But if ever this soul had someone who cared, you are nurturing those brain pathways of trust.
And love will live again. Love is the strongest force in the universe. We need to cultivate it, provide good conditions, be patient, watch for the season.
Wherever you are, above all else: believe. Love grows here.
I write on how humans develop and grow through challenges we face. I've divided this into three categories--Growing Love is about relationships and how we create conditions for growth despite the inevitable challenges. Cloudburst is about grief, specifically—which is a tricky topic. We need to keep growing but pushing is the opposite of helpful. And in Dancing on Hot Sand I talk about personal inner growth in hard places—spiritual growth, without sounding religious, I hope.